JUST Jesus

i was dreaming with one of my best friends Sarah on one of our weekly skype dates. we were dreaming about future and what we want to do and ideas we have and how we will be together in this crazy thing we do called life. we were talking about desires and watching jesus start to really give us strategy for it all. She sent me a status that Levi Miller put up that was really challenging her. As i read it i began to get rocked and Jesus started to speak something to me. AM I ENOUGH? IS JUST ME ENOUGH?

Here is the quote.......

"A word for thought to my friends in ministry: If the "religious structure" you are involved in, the relationships that center around it or its spiritual mandate, and all of your opportunities for "effectiveness" ceased to exist...like it all suddenly NEVER existed...would you have any frame of reference for this life? If not, I beg of you...reevaluate your priorities. Be certain that YOU are living...not simply living how you've been told is best. Freedom is not the structure that facilitates it...freedom is the essence that breathes life into those things that truly matter."

Here are my thoughts...

Strip away the ministry and the status and the names and the roles and the countries.. is JUST JESUS enough? as i thought about it i decided that if i answered it honestly, i would have to answer NO. I have been so concerned with what the world has to say about me; and the things that i have done; and the status that my name has; and the countries that i have been to; and the people i know. If it all was stripped away and all people had to say about me, if they ever talked about me, was "sarah, yeah she loves jesus" and then move on. I wouldn't be okay with that. i have realized that it has become about ministry and status and not about jesus. 

So what i am i doing about it? well here it is, i am changing my perspective. as i am changing my perspective i am watching my priorities fall into place. i am not conforming to the mold anymore and the form that the world says i should be in. I will be marked by true obedience and the word of the Lord; not the ministry that i am apart of. i so often look around and see what others are doing and try to do whats popular and what makes a name for myself. I have realized I DON'T NEED A NAME. I NEED JESUS. i have realized that if jesus tells me to do something that is outside of the box that i know or want i try to form it into something he isn't speaking or try to pass it off as the infamous "that's me, not the Lord". I try to form what he says into a structure that i know and am comfortable with and will make me look good. Jesus really blew this up for me in the book of Mark. so let't take it to the word.... In Mark 8:31-33 Jesus is telling His disciples that He is going to die and be raised again in 3 days. As He tells them this, Peter pulls Him aside and rebukes Him. Jesus replies by saying "Get behind me Satan, for you are not setting your eyes on things of God, but things of man." Peter did not think that the Messiah would die, so when Jesus said this it was outside of the box and the mold that Peter put the Messiah in so when jesus spoke, Peter tried to make it into what he knew. Jesus so kindly tells him you are looking at what the world has to say and not what god has to say. That is when i realized, how often do i hear something from God that doesn't excite me or sounds crazy and radical or that i don't completely understand how it will happen or how i will get there. So i create this false things that God didn't speak. and create a longer route for myself and make it a mess. Now Jesus is faithful and sovereign so he always meets me where i am at, but when i try to act out of what makes sense to me i make it a lot harder on myself. I have realized that most radical place to be in right where God wants you, whatever that looks like. Whether it's something crazy like joining "The Dead Raising Team" or something like moving away and being married. Those are both radical if thats where Jesus wants you to be. To trust the lord and that He is orchestrating it perfectly for His plan for you. I am done with the performance and the appearance of it all. 

I WANT JESUS.