into His harvest

Well i am here in Cambodia and loving it.  I wake up to the sounds of honking horns, yelling men, construction right outside my window, a man yelling into a megaphone that sounds like he has his nose plugged, dogs fighting, men talking on our balcony, a jet propeller for a fan, rain on the tin roof, and the sounds of playing kids. The second we walk outside our door we are greeted by little Khmer kids yelling HELLO at the top of their lungs and delicious smells in the air. I have seen the hearts of my team come alive as they fall in the love with this place. That the Lord has so orchestrated this crew to excel in each of their strengths, to grow and challenge each other, and walk out their passions, to go lower so they can see the others go higher. So overall it has been amazing. We focus on the long term vision here, to see more souls saved and what it looks like to live a life after christ. So we work with slums, restoration homes, cafe ministries and also teaching children the bible and english. We have seen lives transform in the 12 short days that we have been here and are continuing to see souls more and more hungry for the Lord. To dive into the Khmer culture but to also bring Kingdom Culture to this place. I have see my team and myself in the culture of the kingdom. Which leads me to inform you on my journey so far, these are just the rough ideas and i do not really know how to put them into language or connect them fully yet. I am still asking the Lord for the big picture, bear with me. So, here we go.....

only these few great years on the planet you have the opportunity of loving him without seeing him and you will never have it again, you will never have the opportunity in sickness to worship, you will never have the opportunity with sin all around you to choose him, you'll never have the opportunity with circumstances that are difficult to look to him to make it better! Because in all of eternity there will be no sickness, in all of eternity there will be no sin, in all of eternity there will be no temptation, only now do we have the high honor that humanity has to worship him, love him, choose him, get consumed by Him; while being surrounded by sin and the option to run after other lovers! We will never have it again.

before this revelation of the love of god, i was dead works, it was me trying to look the part and sound and act the part, i was trying to earn my salvation and that is not salvation at all, it was me trying to clothe myself in my own righteous deeds. When i did DTS i got emerged in His love and my unworthiness. My depravity, but oh his love his overwhelming love. That he loved me before i ever loved him. He loves me when i spit in His face, He loves me when i was embarrassed to call myself a christian, He loves me in my greatest moment of shame, He loves me in my moment of my 17th rededication to Him, He loves me every moment in between the same. and i am awestruck by the love of god. 

the love that overflows out of my heart is a response to the revelation of His love

the lord is teaching me about his love and about how this is not about performance, it about acting out of full surrender to Him and being obedient and even in my defiance he still loves me. That the answer to every question i ask him is "because i love you" and when i ask why do you love me he says "i love you because i love you because i love you because i love you". 


to be so undone by his simple love. 

unhindered....

a place of long suffering.

a joyful place.

week 7 here in kona. i am completely undone and enamored by the man jesus. a man who stares at me in the face with completely love and longs to have all of me. every part of my heart, mind and body. how do i completely give myself to jesus?

a willing heart. 

a hopeful soul.

a trusting spirit.

stepping out in faith and being real and raw with jesus. saying whats on my mind and asking for a heavenly perspective. seeing how jesus sees things and understanding that jesus does not work in the box of "time" that the world has. understanding that not everything will make sense. 

realizing that i hold a small piece of the puzzle and i may only be staring at half of the corner and jesus sees the finished product. that he will bring things and reveal things in his timing. to wait and see what he says and reveals. to have patience.

Patience. oh, patience.

patience is a new lesson for me. with planning an outreach and staffing a dts. getting taught that i can only rely on jesus and can not do anything out of my own strength. to gaze at jesus and TRUST that he has it. understanding that patience and trust go hand in hand. with truly trusting god i will understad patience and realize that he will do it in his perfect timing. 

trust. joy. 

sitting in the joy of the lord and truly waiting and believing he will come in. letting him have his way with me. do what he wants and reveal what he wants when jesus wants to. letting go of my rights to know.

Letting go.

letting go of my future and rights. trusting that the i am walking in the will of th lord and being obedient. tursting that he will reveal in his time. when i pray about future jesus tells me to just pray "have your way with my future and reveal things to me in your perfect timing" so thats what i am doing. 

no frustration. 

seeing that if jesus were to reveal to me what is next now that i would focus on that and not be present in the here and now. seeing that jesus has plans for me later but this is his plans for now and i need to give my all in this time and not let other things take my focus. 

jesus is good.

jesus is real.

JESUS IS ALIVE.

Awake My Soul

Freedom.
Presence.
Relationships.
Awaken.

1 week ago. 86 students got off a plane to come do something called a DTS(discipleship training school) with a organization called YWAM(youth with a mission). they came to do the Awaken DTS. the lord has trusted me enough to staff this incredible DTS. my heart was so ready and expectant to see what the lord wanted to do. we just finished our first week and the lord has already broken through in crazy ways and increased the capacity of our hunger and the expectancy for the quarter. it has been so amazing to see a group of students that are so hungry for the presence of the lord and to grow in deeper  intimacy with him. they are already receiving breakthrough and chasing after him with all that they have. this past week we have all the staff share their testimonies. a common theme in the staff testimonies has been how the lord has met each of us in our brokenness and how he exchanges beauty for ashes, that the lord meets you where you are and that you come to Him real, raw, and messy, that you do not to have it figured out or arrive at this point to be fully loved by Him and to be worthy to stand in his presence. they are chasing after him and really trying to let go of the things that may be hindering them from more of him. they are so seeking breakthrough. i can say that the lord has really given me His heart for these students. in 3 short months we will all be leaving for outreach for the "outreach phase" of DTS. we will be going all over the world. i will be leading a team that i can not release yet because we have not told the students where they are going so they do not know the leaders yet. this is a time where we get to speak to the lost and really love on His people and seek after the father heart of God. we made a video and released it to the students and gave them 30 minutes to pray about it and then write it down and submit it to leadership to pray about. here is the video that we released.

there are some countries taken out due to sensitivity and being closed nations.

Mission Statement

if i abide in god's love, i get all that i ask. how do i abide in his love? i obey his commandments. how do i obey his commandments? i love my neighbor as my father loves me. how do i love my neighbor as the father loves me? i sacrifice myself and put myself at the lowest place so that they can be lifted higher.

the awaken dts is starting in 1 month and all the students will be here. i could not be more excited. i want each and every one of them to understand the fathers heart and feel his love. i am committed to every single one of the students and want them to walk in the fullness of christ. my heart is continually growing for the students and wanting them to understand the love of jesus. that he is sufficient and all we need.

the revelation that i have come to in the past couple weeks is that not even our time is ours. it is all His. we live for him and we live in his love. whoa. we live in his love. WE LIVE IN LOVE. i was talking about this with one of my friends and  she put it in a great analogy. if you are in water then you are completely surrounded by water and if you get out of the water and go and hug a friend then it is impossible for them not to get wet. the water will inevitably be transferred. if we live in the love that christ has given us then it will be impossible for that not to be transferred onto others. i want to walk in that kind of love. i have no excuse not to love everyone with unfailing love. we are not entitled to withhold our love or our time or our belongings from anyone, because it is not ours in the beginning. i want to walk in that kind of love. what does it mean to walk in the fullness? to never put yourself higher, to always put yourself in the lowest place. to put jesus first and go to him with everything.

 the lord has so captivated my heart with his love and how beauty and truly knowing what he created me for and that i was created FOR SUCH A TIME AS THIS. the smallest glimpse of his face that he has revealed has captivated me so much that i want to do everything so i can to see more. i need to walk in full surrenderance. die to myself and follow after the lord and serve as he served.

SERVE.
LOVE.
SURRENDER.

these words have all become a reality to my heart. to know jesus and his love and make him known. whether that is loving a student when they get revelation or are walking through a rough time, or the hindu man who spits on me in nepal, or the atheist woman who mocks me, or the man who has never heard the name of jesus. no matter the background, the story, the hurt they have been through, or the hurt they have have put you through.

WALK IN LOVE.

...walk in the love of christ.
....it is impossible for it not to get transferred.

In the beginning...

Aloha,


Wow! how time has just flown by. many of you that i have been in Kona Hawaii for the past month. i am involved in the Leadership Track here and it keeps me extremely busy, so i am sorry for the delay. The Leadership Track has stretched me far beyond what i ever would have expected but also has grown me so much closer to the heart of God just by intentionally pressing in and seeking His heart. a lot of you ask what are you doing? well heres some of my schedule.
Monday: 8-9am Corporate Worship. 9-12 Practical Service. (I work in the DTS Office. so i call students and interview them and help them out with anything hey need.)12-1 lunch. 1-3 prayer room. 3-? Girls Group. 6:30-9 Ministry Night. 
Tuesday: 9-12 work. 12-1 lunch. 1-3 prayer room. 3-5 Staff meeting (every other week). 6- BBQ /Dessert Night. 
Wednesday: 8-9am Contending Hour. 9-12 Training. 12-1 Lunch. 1-5 Community Outreach.(I do sunday school so I have outreach on sunday mornings while everyone else has outreach that day). 
Thursday: 9-12 Work. 12-1 lunch. 1-3 prayer room. 5:30 Fire Starters(church for the kids for Thursday Night gathering).
Friday: 9-12 Work. 12-1 lunch. 1-3 Prayer Room. 
We have to do a priestly hour 3 times a week as well and they have to be done 12-1 or 3-4. Priestly hour is basically time alone with God. Not a corporate time but time of intentionally getting closer to Jesus and reading his word. through this schedule God has so set my gaze on his eyes and while it sounds like a lot and very busy with homework or just the schedule. I am not exhausted and i find myself being excited about going to the prayer room and doing work. I want to know the depths of God's heart and the most intimate places. He has so stirred my spirit and has given me such a hunger to really chase after him with all that i have and set every other thing aside. 
we have homework every week, it is memorization of the word and book reports. We are memorizing sermon on the mount and it has given me a new appreciation for the bible and helping understand it and really get into it and understand what he is saying through it. Jesus has begun to grow me in places that i have always struggled in through intentional time with Him and really pressing in. We are such a community that is centered around Jesus its almost unreal. 
Now it's not all just work...last weekend we went on a retreat. A retreat to just relax, with no agenda, and really get to know each other better. we went to Makapala, YWAM has a retreat base up there. It is beautiful up there and about 10-15 degrees cooler there so that was awesome. man did God show up. we had such great time and just really built relationship again. we played games together and cooked together and did worship together. God seriously is moving and showing me who i am in him. while i was there i got to talk to my friend Sarah and she helped me see what god was doing inside me. that he was stretching and growing me. not stretching me like a athlete stretches their muscles but stretching me like a pair of stretchy pants, they get bigger so more can be put inside. Jesus has so begun to shift my heart. he has made me more confident in who i am in him and to use him as my crutch not to lean onto the affirmations of people but to listen to what he has to say about me. he began to work on this while i was at home and showing me his father heart but here he has really made me comfortable in my skin and that people will either like me or not, but i am going to be myself no matter what. also god is teaching me how to be vulnerable. and not in a over dramatic way of never being okay but in a way that i can let people in and yeah sometimes people throw my heart on the ground but he picks it up and repairs it. not by putting a band aid on it but by really cleaning out the wound and teaching me forgive. i have come to a realization that anger is not an emotion. that it is a cover-up of a deeper emotion. we use it because we don't way to say we are hurt or frustrated, so we say we are angry. well god has shown me that the things that i have said i am angry about, i am not angry i am really hurt by. but really teaching me to walk out in forgiveness and giving me a heart for what happened and an understanding. 


jesus is awesome isn't he.


he has put the most incredible women around me, that lift me up and see what a Godly friendship is. to go to God first and then each other second. to constantly lift each other up in prayer. i am so thankful for the people in my life and the parents i have, who continue to encourage me. to give me wisdom and GODLY advice. i am really in the process of learning god's love for me and finding my comfort in him. 
The other night i had a hard night and was overwhelmed with lots of different emotions and i asked jesus to give me something in his word to tell me what he thinks about the situation and what i am supposed to do. he gave me psalm 86, the title of it is Great Is Your Steadfast Love. it is all about finding your comfort in jesus and when we cry out to him he hears us. that he has love for us no matter what. god has stirred my heart and really started aligning my mind with what he has done in my heart and really starting to give me understanding. he continues to speak and continues to meet me in the place i am in. i feel like sometimes he goes 99% and all i have to do is go the 1. and that he meets me in my brokenness. he gives us the chance to choose him in that. and even when we don't choose him he still meets us. but what an hour it is to choose him in our brokenness and suffering. last august, during DTS, Andy Byrd said something i will never forget,"we only have this life to choose him in our pain, sorrow, sickness, insecurities, and brokenness". we have the choice to choose him and what an honor it is. i want to choose jesus every time. so i have begun my radical pursuit of his heart and will never stop. 


So thank you to my supporters because i would not be here if it wasn't for your prayers and believing Jesus enough in me to finically support me to go down his works. 




"Incline your ear, O Lord, and answer me, for i am poor and needy. preserve my life, for i am Godly; save your servant, who trusts in you-you are my God. Be gracious to me, O Lord, for to you do i cry all the day. Gladden the should of your servant, for to you, O Lord, do i lift up my soul. For you, O Lord, and good and forgiving, abounding in steadfast love to all who call upon you. Give ear, o Lord, to my prayer; listen to my plea for grace. in the day of my trouble i call upon you, for you answer me. there is none like you amount the gods, O Lord, nor are there any workalike yours. All the nations you have made shall come and worship before you, O Lord, and shall glorify your name. For you are great and do wondrous things;you alone are God. Teach me your way, O Lord, that i may walk in your truth; unite my heart to fear your name. i give thanks to you, O Lord my God with my whole heart, and i will glorify your name forever. for great is your steadfast love towards me; you have delivered my soul form the depths of Sheol. O God, insolent men have risen ip against me; a band of ruthless men seeks my life, and they do not set you before them. but you, O Lord,are a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness. turn to me and be gracious to me; give me your strength to your servant, and save the son of your maidservant. Show me a sign of your favor, and those who hate me may see and be put to shame because you, Lord, have helped me and comforted me. " Psalm 86. ESV


If you feel led to support, you can go to my ALL ME page and it has all my contact info there. thanks. 




In His Name,
Sarah

Makapala, Northwest Shore of the island

Packing for 9 months

the girls

praying for the continent of Africa by standing on it

What's to come...

well here it goes.
i have been home now for 11 weeks. many know i have come home from a six month DTS (discipleship training school) through YWAM (youth with a mission). i did my outreach in a small nation in between China and India called Nepal. while in Nepal and since being home i have seen my heart for discipleship grow more and more. in Nepal i ran alongside a family who is permanent missionaries there and they have 2 daughters who are 9 and 11. i felt like the lord told me to commit to hanging with them while i am there and really poor into their lives. so that is what i did. since being home i have had heavy on my heart to run alongside many people and watch their relationship with jesus grow and help them in any way i can. i want others to desire a relationship with jesus. i want others to not only want jesus but pursue them with all that they have. something i learned in my time in kona is our God is alive and moving and we can have a real radically devoted, loving relationship with him. GOD IS ALIVE.

when i got home i was not sure what i felt like i was supposed to do. i had many different things offered to me. so i committed the month of january to pray and fast about 2012. well i did that with my parents and a few close friends and i still was not completely set on kona. i felt in my heart to go but i was telling myself that i was not supposed to go this time. i went to michigan to visit a few friends from kona. half that are going back and half that are not. we spent many nights in prayer about the future. the lord so clearly told me to be slow to speak and quick to listen. right when when i stopped talking the lord spoke kona. with conformation from many others. i got to talk about it with my school leader and where my heart was at and they were in full support. while still in kona right after outreach i had a leader ask me to come back and staff. so very recently i accepted that invitation  and sent in my application to be on staff. i was accepted a couple days ago. so July through December i will be staffing in kona hawaii and leading a team into a nation. so before i can staff i will be going to kona on april 2, 2012 to start a leadership track. which is to....

•  rise up priests before the Lord who have learned to prioritize his presence, live for his glory, and be led by his spirit through a lifestyle of corporate and individual worship and prayer centered around the word of God.

• develop committed kingdom family relationships, and create mature and effective leaders who walk in great integrity and godly character that could staff and lead DTS outreaches and pioneer DTS schools

• release evangelists, preachers, teachers, and worship leaders who could effectively teach and impart into any setting with great anointing and profound impact.

• train community builders and pioneers who are effective in creating, discipling, and multiplying missional communities centered around the presence of the Lord.

since i have been home i have had a lot of things thrown my way. but i have taken on those things and laid them at the lords feet and become a stronger person. i am speaking in churches and to groups about what the lord has done in my own life and who he is to me. being present in my family and chasing after the lord with them. god has been so faithful to all the words that he has spoken and continues to speak to me and do crazy things in my life. i am so ready. 

now working through YWAM we all live completely off support. the founder of YWAM even lives off support. Support covers staff fees, room and board, insurance, outreach fees and day to day living expenses. i am looking for people who are committed to me and my time in kona for at least a year. 

i thank you for all your prayers and support and believing with me that our god is big, alive, and moving and calling his children home.

i am excited to run alongside people who are relentlessly pursuing god and being obedient to his words. i want to thank you all again for even considering to support me and run after this mission to awaken the hearts and bring His sons and daughters home.

my verses for this time...

"enter his gates with thanksgiving, and his courts with praise! give thanks to him; bless his name!" psalm 100:4 ESV

"ask of me, and i will make the nations your heritage, and the ends of the earth your possession" psalm 2:8 ESV

"who through him are believers in God, who raised him from the dead and gave him glory, so that your faith and hope are in god." 1 Peter 1:21

"but you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light. once you were not a people, but now you are god's people; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy." 1 Peter 2:9-10 ESV

HOME

Home.

Life COMPLETELY changed. God transformed me. 

6 months ago I would have been a selfish, self-absorbed, status driven teenager. 

Now I am a completely different girl. Who tries her best to put others before myself and chase after God with all I have and do what he has for me. Nepal....INCREDIBLE. God moved there and showed that he is a loving and faithful God. Hawaii....AMAZING. God placed the most amazing team and friends in my life to run with me. I was challenged and encouraged and convicted and freed from so many things while I was there and really got my life refocused on what I want to live for. 

To be honest life since I have been home, has been hard. I miss my team and my friends. I miss Nepal and the family I had there. I miss Kona and the atmosphere and running with radical Christians. Not waking up and seeing my teams faces everyday has been weird. God has really taken a hold of my heart and showed me that even though it is hard, I am home for a reason and I am supposed to be present here. While I am supposed to be excited and dream about Kona and where I am going next in life, I am not supposed to let it consume my mind and not be present at home.  Since I have been home I have seen how much I am needed right now in Rancho Cucamonga, California. With my family my stepfather Jeff fell off some scaffling and broke his leg. An open compound fracture. He has pins sticking out of his legs and is looking at at least one more surgery. Life is not going to be easy for him the next couple months and I have been helping out as much as I can for him. Jobs that he normally does I do now and making sure he has water and food while my mom is at work. God has used me a ton in this situation with my mom. Being with her and having this situation get out things that have needed to be talked about that we have always avoided. Also, my relationship with Jeff has changed in such a positive way. Watching my parents in this situation not do certain things because the want to be Christlike and chasing after God will all they have and covering themselves in prayer. I have gotten to pray for stepdad multiple times for healing. Something that I have realized in this is that the God of Nepal is the same God of Rancho. If God can heal a blind man or a lame man then God can heal a broken leg. Through this Jeff has had great spirits and thanking God everyday that this is just his leg and that he is taken care of. God is in this situation. I am so thankful that I have a family who has a relationship with Jesus. 

Friends. Friends have been so great and supportive and so happy to listen about Nepal. I have had a blast getting to share with everyone the crazy stories that I myself continue to get shocked by. I have been so busy going to coffee and lunch with people it has been so awesome getting to share that experience with people and  have my testimony touch their lives. 

God is using me here and i see that now. While I am so excited for the future I am so content with being in the here and now. 

God continues to reveal himself to me. Podcasts, bible, worship and sitting at waiting for him to show up. He continues to speak and continues to come. He spoke this to me. "You are my daughter and I love you. Dedicate 2012 to me." What does that entail? Through prayer I found that I was supposed to dedicate the year to him by giving up certain things and committing myself completely to what he has for me. So the month of January I am committing myself to praying and fasting to see what the year of 2012 is supposed to look like. I would love for you to join me in this. I am so excited to see what God has is store. 

My verses for the year of 2012.

"The light of eyes rejoices the heart, and good news refreshes the bones" Proverbs 15:30 ESV

"The reward for humility and fear of the lord is riches and honor and life" Proverbs 22:4 ESV

"And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him" Hebrews 11:6 ESV

"You are my witnesses,' declares the Lord, 'and my servant whom I have chosen" Isaiah 43:10 ESV

All these verses mean something to me and show that I can have a relationship with jesus and be joyous even when it is not always easy. Something a good friend of mine said in a bible study was, "the word of God is active and living. It is active and living because the author lives inside of you". Every day that I read about the things that Jesus did I continue to feel astonished and grateful that the man that did all these things lives inside of me and i actually have a relationship with him. Knowing that I have the hope of heaven gets me through every day. 

So i want to end this with a thank you. Thank you for following me on this journey and praying for me. Your prayers mean more to me than you will ever know. God has stolen my heart and I am so ready for what he has for me and so in love with him.